Lately, wherever I’ve been going I’ve been hearing worried parents talking. The three most discussed topics are: private schools, universities, and jobs. Usually when I’m out eating a restaurant I cannot but overhear conversations on one of these topics. Parents talk about how hard it is to get into a private school or they express concern that their children don’t have a high enough SAT score or enough AP credits. Other parents talk about their worry that their children won’t find jobs after they finish university.

So what do these parents do? They enroll their children in enrichment programs – academic, art, or music – strengthening their children’s talents. We refer to these talents as their hard skills. While it’s important to develop your child’s talents, you also need to develop his or her social skills, or what we call the soft skills. Soft skills – some people call this Emotional Quotient (EQ) – are the ability for one to get along well with others, to show empathy, and to be likeable.

I have a saying – your success depends on two things: 1) your ability and 2) your likeability [please include “ability” and “likeability” in English]. Just because someone is capable does not necessarily mean that they are likeable. So one may ask, why does likeability matter? Isn’t simple talent enough? It matters a lot because we depend on social interactions. Moreover, at work we need to collaborate well with others whether they are colleagues, clients, or members of the community.

An interviewer – whether for a job or for school – is the perfect example of the importance of ability and likeability. As a former interviewer for Cornell University and St. George’s School, I met lots of students who had the marks and scores and some obvious talent. But that was it. What would have made them stand out as more impressive candidates was if they managed to connect with me. They needed that likeability factor. That’s something that I stress with my students when I do interview coaching with them.

I teach my students to think of an interview not as an interview but rather as a conversation. I get them to see themselves from the interviewer’s perspective. If you were the interviewer, do you see yourself actually wanting to get to know the interviewee outside the formal setting? Is this someone with whom you could see yourself going for coffee or a drink? Again, it’s so important for the interviewee to connect and be liked by the interviewer.

Ultimately, each of us wants to be around people we like. Admissions officers and hiring managers are no different in this respect. So remember, it’s not simply enough to have the talent or skill. Rather, you also need the likeability factor.